When there’s a solar eclipse on the horizon, people talk about protective eyewear, unique shadows, and the eerie midday darkness—but hardly anyone mentions what might happen with your plumbing. In a lighthearted look at the intersection of celestial events and home fixtures, Roger Wakefield offers an entertaining take on how a total solar eclipse could (theoretically) affect toilets, showers, water heaters, and more. Below, we’ll explore each imaginary concern, discuss whether there’s any real science behind it, and wrap up with practical tips for ensuring your pipes stay problem-free during this once-in-a-decade event.
Why a Solar Eclipse Won’t Actually Transform Your Plumbing
Before diving into the fun, let’s set the record straight: a solar eclipse isn’t going to reverse your toilet’s swirl or cause your shower to explode with extra pressure. While the Earth, Moon, and Sun’s alignment can create spectacular visual effects, gravity-related plumbing quirks—like water spinning backward—are more associated with large-scale phenomena such as the Coriolis effect, not brief celestial events. So, if you’re worried about cosmic swirl fiascos, take a deep breath. You’re safe.
But the comedic “eclipse warnings” for your plumbing can still teach you something about everyday maintenance. Roger’s tongue-in-cheek observations highlight how paying attention to normal upkeep—like verifying your shutoffs or protecting your septic system—can spare you from real mishaps.
Potential “Eclipse-Related” Plumbing Issues
1. The Eclipse Water Vortex
What It Is
Legend says that when the Sun is obscured, toilets might spin in the opposite direction—just like they do in the southern hemisphere. But in truth, short-term astronomical alignments won’t change your flush swirl.
Why It’s Funny
The idea of a “reverse flush” conjures images of water leaping out of the bowl or swirling backward. In reality, flushing depends on your toilet’s design and existing water flow patterns, not on solar-lunar alignment.
What You Can Do
If you find water swirling oddly, it’s more likely due to partial clogs or venting problems. A quick inspection or cleaning might help. Or, you can just flush at the peak of the eclipse for a good laugh.
2. Solar Flare Flush
What It Is
The suggestion is that toilets may “absorb solar energy,” causing hyper-powered flushes strong enough to uproot the porcelain or blow pipes apart. Of course, your toilet isn’t storing solar energy—it’s simply gravity and water pressure at play.
Why It’s Funny
Imagining your toilet erupting like a volcano might be comedic gold, but no real science supports a supercharged flush because the Moon blocks the Sun for a few minutes.
What You Can Do
If you do experience abnormal flush pressure, it’s likely a water pressure spike from your municipal supply. You can verify your home’s water pressure with a simple gauge and adjust it using a pressure-reducing valve if needed.
3. Eclipse-Powered Showers
What It Is
The myth says your shower might run hotter or with more force during totality, fueled by “celestial synergy.” Realistically, your water heater or local water supply doesn’t care about the Moon’s position.
Why It’s Funny
Picturing the shower cranking up to scorching temps or blasting you through the shower curtain is comedic exaggeration. It’s basically a nudge to check your shower pressure and temperature settings.
What You Can Do
If your shower’s pressure or temperature is inconsistent, you may have a failing mixing valve, partial clogs in the showerhead, or a water heater needing maintenance. Adjust or replace those parts—no eclipse required.
4. Moonlight Plumbing Services
What It Is
A playful warning about unscrupulous “moonlighters” who only offer fixes during eclipses—and vanish afterward. It suggests you might never see them again if warranty work is required.
Why It’s Funny
The notion of a phantom plumber who shows up at dawn and disappears forever once the eclipse ends highlights how some folks might exploit unusual events for quick profit.
What You Can Do
Always hire a licensed, reputable plumber. Check online reviews, ask for references, and verify the company’s credentials. That way, you’ll have support if anything needs adjusting after the eclipse.
5. Eclipse Sinkholes Near Septic Systems
What It Is
The idea that a total eclipse might create sinkholes around septic tanks or drain fields. In comedic lore, cosmic alignment somehow interacts with your underground system to cause collapses.
Why It’s Funny
Septic sinkholes are typically due to old tanks, eroded soil, or poor installation, not the solar-lunar synergy. However, it does remind owners that neglected septic systems can fail unexpectedly.
What You Can Do
Schedule regular septic inspections every three to five years. Pump out the tank as recommended by a professional. If you see any depressions or damp areas in your yard—eclipse or not—call a septic specialist.
Safeguards to “Eclipsify” Your Plumbing
Even though the comedic scenarios aren’t real, a few standard best practices can help you avoid genuine plumbing issues—on eclipse day and beyond.
Aligning Pipes with the Eclipse
What It Is
The humorous claim that you should reorient your plumbing to match the path of totality. This obviously isn’t feasible unless you plan to tear out your walls.
Real Takeaway
Check pipe alignment if you’re remodeling or suspect a slope issue. Improper slopes can cause sewer backups or slow drains—no cosmic interference needed.
Charging Your Water Heater with Solar Energy
What It Is
The myth that hooking your water heater to solar panels before the eclipse prevents catastrophic heater failure.
Real Takeaway
Consider an actual solar water heater system or solar panels to offset energy costs. A standard electric or gas water heater is fine, but evaluating more eco-friendly options can pay off long-term.
Post-Eclipse Plumbing Inspection
What It Is
A comedic recommendation to do a full inspection after totality—listening for “cosmic gurgles” and checking for “stardust” in the water that might damage flux capacitors in your appliances.
Real Takeaway
Annual or biannual plumbing inspections are always a good idea, especially if your home is older. Professionals can detect small leaks, corrosion, and drain issues before they become bigger.
Listen for Gurgles
- Real gurgling might indicate partial clogs or vent blockages.
- A quick look with a sewer camera can confirm if tree roots or collapsed pipes are a concern.
Check for Discolored Water
- Cloudy or brownish water could be due to sediment buildup in the water heater or rust in galvanized pipes.
- It’s unrelated to cosmic dust, but it’s worth addressing for better water quality.
A Note on Insurance
“Cosmic events” won’t usually be covered by standard homeowners insurance as a direct cause for plumbing failure. However, typical water damage coverage might still apply if a pipe truly bursts. But since an eclipse won’t likely cause your pipes to fail, you don’t need to worry about a special policy for it.
Real Reasons Plumbing Might Act Up
While it’s fun to blame bizarre phenomena on the Moon blocking the Sun, there are more grounded explanations for strange plumbing changes around the time of a big event:
- Increased Usage: If a lot of people gather in your town to view the eclipse, water usage spikes could lower pressure or drain local reservoirs.
- Sewer System Overload: Big crowds might overload older municipal sewers, causing slower drains or backups.
- Municipal Maintenance: Cities sometimes schedule utility work around major gatherings or events. Water line adjustments can momentarily alter pressure or flow.
If you notice odd plumbing behavior around the eclipse, check your local news or utility website. It might be a scheduled maintenance day, not lunar mischief.
Final Word: Enjoy the Eclipse Without Plumbing Panic
The solar eclipse is a rare and beautiful phenomenon. You don’t need special plumbing precautions—just normal maintenance and perhaps a sense of humor. If your toilet truly starts spinning backward or your shower blasts like a rocket, it’s likely a mechanical or pressure-related issue, not gravitational chaos.
Still, following good plumbing care—like verifying your angle stops, clearing your drains, and ensuring your septic system is well-maintained—means you can watch the skies without stress. And if a traveling “moonlight plumber” knocks on your door promising eclipse deals, maybe pass on that one.
