Over the decades I’ve pulled the unimaginable from drains, stood beneath ceilings webbed with outlaw plumbing, and stared into a sewer line only to have something stare back. In this post I’m sharing the ones that stuck with me—what went wrong, why it happened, and how you can keep your place from turning into a cautionary tale.
Why Some Jobs Stick With You
Plumbing is part science, part sleuthing, and part “brace yourself.” The jobs that haunt you usually check three boxes:
- They smell worse than they look (and they already look awful).
- They reveal a bigger story about how the system was installed—or abused.
- They could’ve been avoided with a little knowledge, a little maintenance, or a little respect for the code.
So let’s talk about the ones I still think about, and the lessons each job carved into my brain.
The Squirrel in the Vent: A Slow Lavatory That Turned Gruesome
A homeowner called about a lavatory that drained like a stubborn syrup. I did the usual: pulled the P-trap, ran a small hand cable, plunged carefully to avoid blowing the trap seal, and even pushed the snake far enough that I thought, “We’re good.” We weren’t.
The layout told me the lav and tub were likely tied together. After too many false victories, I climbed the roof and sent a retrieval spring down the vent stack. It felt like I’d lassoed a cinder block. I muscled that cable back out and—there it was: a squirrel, long gone and held together mostly by fate and cold water.
What Went Wrong
- Vent stacks are open to the atmosphere to equalize pressure and protect trap seals. That opening can look like shelter or curiosity to critters.
- Winter drives animals to warm spaces. A vent pipe radiating a little heat from the house can seem inviting.
- Once they’re in, gravity and geometry win. A vent at the roofline is a one-way slide for an animal with no traction.
What Homeowners Can Do
- Install a code-compliant vent cap or critter guard. It must not restrict the required vent area or collect frost/debris that would block airflow. Many markets have approved guards designed for this purpose.
- Check roof penetrations annually. If you’re already up there cleaning gutters, take 30 seconds to eyeball vent openings.
- Know your nose. A sulfur “rotten egg” smell, slow drains throughout a bathroom group, or gurgling can mean a vent problem—not just a clog.
The Cleanup You Don’t Want to Do
If something biological comes out of your plumbing, don’t touch it bare-handed and don’t throw it in the kitchen trash. Bag it, mask up, glove up, and disinfect tools thoroughly. Treat it like you would a dead animal in the yard—because that’s exactly what it is.
Birds in the Stack: Curiosity Meets Physics
That squirrel wasn’t unique. I’ve found birds, too. Why would a bird head down a pipe? Food curiosity, nesting material, warmth, misjudged landings—you name it. A vent looks a lot like a hollow tree to a creature that doesn’t know what PVC is.
Pro Tip: Guard the Roof, Protect the Drain
- Use the right guard. Don’t jury-rig screens that rust, shrink the opening, or become leaf nets. The vent must breathe.
- Never glue a cap that can’t be removed. Serviceability matters. Your future self—or your plumber—will thank you.
The Worst-Plumbed House I Ever Walked Into
Every plumber has a “what am I looking at?” story. Mine involved a house where plastic piping zigzagged like holiday garland. PEX lines drooped under their own weight, hung in open rooms, and—unbelievably—were tied off to random fixtures for “support.” Holes hacked through walls looked more like a woodpecker had done the rough-in. Under cabinets, lines crisscrossed with no protection from screws or abrasion. The water heater hookup area? A collage of wrong fittings, odd transitions, and missing safety details.
What Made It So Bad
- Unsupported PEX. Flexible tubing needs proper hangers at proper spacing. Sagging creates water hammer, abrasion points, and noisy pipes.
- Random penetrations. Holes without protective plates (and without thought) invite nails and screws to pierce lines later.
- Wild transitions. Mismatched materials without listed fittings are failure factories.
- Safety oversights. A water heater needs correct T&P relief discharge, adequate combustion air (if gas), and proper venting. Skipping those steps isn’t “creative”—it’s dangerous.
Lessons for Homeowners
- If you can see it, you can judge it. Exposed plumbing should look deliberate, supported, and orderly. If it looks like spaghetti tossed from across the room, it was probably installed with the same level of care.
- Ask about permits and inspections. Code isn’t the enemy—it’s your ally against expensive, dangerous mistakes.
- Photos are your friend. If you remodel, photograph walls before closing them up. You’ll want that record when you hang a cabinet or troubleshoot later.
The Sewer Rat That Blinked First
After clearing a stout main-line stoppage from a two-way cleanout, I ran an inspection camera to confirm the pipe was clean before hydro-jetting. The line ran a long way under a front yard—plenty of places for surprises. I eased forward, and two reflective points shone back at me. I nudged closer. The points backed away. I held still. They crept forward. We repeated this slow dance until the creature retreated and dropped into a larger sewer run.
It was a rat—big enough to make me question the calibration on my depth-counter.
How Does a Rat Get Into a House Line?
- From the municipal sewer. Rats can navigate sewers, climb rough surfaces, and find their way into lateral lines through breaks or poorly sealed connections.
- Through broken or misaligned joints. Older clay or cast-iron pipes with offsets are open doors.
- Via uncapped cleanouts. A missing cap is an invitation.
Why the Camera “Dance” Happens
Rats are cautious but curious. In a 4-inch pipe, a camera head is a shiny intruder. They’ll test it, retreat, then test again. Your takeaway as a homeowner: if you’ve had recurring clogs and odd noises, a camera inspection isn’t “extra.” It’s how you look your problem in the eye—literally, sometimes.
How Animals End Up in Plumbing (and How to Stop It)
Animals don’t care about your floor plan, but they do follow a few rules of nature:
- Openings are opportunities. Roof vents, cleanouts, crawlspace penetrations—all fair game if unprotected.
- Water draws life. Leaks, standing water near cleanouts, and damp areas attract critters.
- Broken equals accessible. Root intrusion, settled soil, and old joints create perfect entry points.
Prevention Checklist
- Vent guards that meet local code and don’t reduce required airflow.
- Tight cleanout caps—hand-snug, then a quarter turn with a wrench.
- Annual exterior walkaround to look for gaps, gnaw marks, or fresh soil heaving (a root intrusion clue).
- Keep trap seals wet. Run water in seldom-used fixtures monthly to prevent sewer gas and pests from sneaking past dry traps.
- Control vegetation. Roots love drains; trees love water. Keep thirsty species away from laterals.
- Address slow drains early. The longer a clog sits, the more attractive that line becomes for pests seeking a “dry island.”
The Tools That Save the Day (and the Mess They Prevent)
Hand Augers and Retrieval Springs
For small fixtures, a hand auger is nimble; a retrieval spring is the “grabber” when you suspect a rag, wipe, or, yes, something organic. Pro tip: If your small snake keeps coming back slimed but the drain still won’t clear, stop and rethink. You might be tangling with something that needs to be removed, not shredded.
Drain Machines (Cabling)
Cabling scrapes and bores through clogs. Cable size matters: 1/4″ and 5/16″ for small lines, 3/8″ to 1/2″ for larger runs. Use the right cutter head for the job—grease, roots, and wipes behave differently.
Hydro-jetting
Jetting scours the full interior of the pipe with high-pressure water. It’s ideal after you open a line with a cable. You don’t just make a hole; you wash the walls clean of grease and scale so the clog doesn’t reform tomorrow. On brittle, failing lines, though, jetting can reveal problems fast—so inspect first.
Inspection Cameras
Cameras tell the truth. They show bellies (sags), offsets, breaks, rogue “repairs,” and living surprises. A good inspection turns an expensive guessing game into a precise plan.
When a Slow Lav Becomes a System Problem
That sluggish bathroom sink wasn’t just a clog—it was a vent obstruction several feet above the fixtures. Vents protect trap seals so sewer gas doesn’t invade your home. When a vent is blocked, you’ll hear gurgling and see slow, uneven draining. Ignore that, and you’ll end up with dried traps, odors, and—if your luck is spectacularly bad—critters finding their way inside.
Quick Diagnostic Flow
- One fixture slow? Think local clog: hair, toothpaste, soap scum.
- Multiple fixtures on the same floor slow and gurgling? Think shared vent or branch issue.
- Whole house backing up? Think of the main line. That’s the time to stop using water and call in reinforcements.
The Hidden Costs of “Creative” Plumbing
That wild, exposed piping job isn’t just ugly; it’s expensive in slow motion.
- Water damage from leaks in unsupported or abraded lines shows up as swollen cabinets, bubbling paint, and mold.
- Energy waste from long, looping hot lines means you pay to heat water that cools off before it reaches you.
- Safety risks around water heaters—improper venting, missing drip legs, or mis-sized gas lines—can turn catastrophic.
If your gut says, “This looks wrong,” it probably is. Get a licensed pro to audit the work, take pictures, and make a prioritized plan to bring it back to code.
Safety: What You Should Never Forget
- Personal protective equipment (PPE). Gloves, eye protection, and a proper mask when you’re dealing with sewage or unknown matter.
- Ventilate. When traps are dry or lines are open, crack windows and set a fan to move air away from your face.
- Disinfect correctly. Use appropriate disinfectants on tools and surfaces; never mix cleaners (especially bleach and ammonia).
- Know your limits. If you catch a whiff of sewer gas or see standing sewage, treat it seriously. Pro help is cheaper than a hospital visit.
DIY vs. Call a Pro: How to Decide
Try this yourself if:
- It’s a single slow lavatory and you’re comfortable removing a P-trap, cleaning it, and snaking 6–10 feet.
- You can restore water to a dry trap and the odor goes away.
Call a pro if:
- Multiple fixtures are affected—or the toilet gurgles when another fixture drains.
- You suspect a vent blockage (especially at the roof).
- You have recurring clogs on the same line. That’s a symptom, not a coincidence.
- You need jetting or a camera inspection. The right equipment and trained hands matter.
The Human Side: Homeowners, Don’t Be Embarrassed
I’ve retrieved everything from kid toys to “not-for-the-drain” wipes to entire wads of paper towels mistaken for a toilet’s favorite snack. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. What matters is fixing the cause and setting the house up to avoid a repeat. If an odd product promises a “flushable” miracle, remember: flushable is not the same as disposable through 60 feet of pipe with three turns and a root intrusion.
Practical Maintenance You Can Do This Month
- Flush seldom-used fixtures. Run water for 30–60 seconds in guest baths and basement slop sinks to refill traps.
- Grease discipline. Wipe pans with a paper towel before washing. Grease solidifies downstream.
- Strainers and hair catchers. Cheap insurance for showers and lavs.
- Know your cleanouts. Find them, keep them accessible, and make sure they’re capped.
- Document upgrades. If you replace a water heater or re-pipe a section, file the permit paperwork and keep the photos.
What Those “Haunting” Jobs Taught Me
- Nature wants in. Roof vents, cleanouts, and cracks are invitations if you don’t guard them properly.
- **Code isn’t red tape—**It’s years of hard lessons written down so you don’t have to learn them the hard way.
- A clean line isn’t just open; it’s restored. Jet when appropriate, and always verify with an inspection.
- Ugly installs fail early. If the work looks careless, the results will be, too.
- Small habits prevent big repairs. The right screens, a tight cleanout cap, and routine trap maintenance save thousands.
Conclusion
“Plumber of 45 Years Tells the Jobs That STILL Haunt Him” sums up a lifetime of being elbow-deep in problems most people never think about until they have to. The squirrel in the vent reminded me that the roof is part of your plumbing. The birds taught me curiosity is not a plan. That house with lines strung like party streamers proved that craftsmanship is safety in disguise. And the rat in the sewer line underscored why we inspect after we clear: because the truth lives inside the pipe.
If you take nothing else from these stories, take this: plumbing works because physics, code, and maintenance work together. Guard the openings, respect the design, keep traps wet, and fix little issues before they become creature comforts for something you don’t want as a housemate. When in doubt, call a professional—ideally before the eyeballs in your line blink first.
